FAIL!!

Shyeet! I swear, sometimes, I feel like the stupidest person in the world. Not that I’m particularly bright, but geez… failing at simple arithmetic with the bill at the restaurant or failing to see 500 as divisible by 20- oh holy God! What a shame to my Sci-Hi roots. My husband is having the LOLZ at this very moment! Even my punctuation is all sorts of whack right now. I don’t think I can even spell anymore.

What the hell is wrong with me? I find that in some instances I cannot get the joke! WTF!! I used to be so quick at this! Did I lose my humor? Am I losing my mind? Or did i just evolve into something else? Something better? F*%$ this S#*T! I think I’m losing it. Or… maybe… I’m just really stupid. Period.

Now let’s explore the culprits, shall we…

1. Too much reading celebrity gossip sites- Ok, I admit, I’m really shallow and not as deep as I want myself to appear and I find such pleasure in nosing through the lives of these insipid celebretards (to borrow terminology from PH). Damn these annoying, but addictive sites. I swear, the bad puns and bad writing is making me stupid.

2. Twilight- I also admit, that after I found out (unexpectedly), thanks to my EW subscription, that Cedric Diggory, on the cover in July, will be in this movie based on the series, I got curious. I bought the whole series without a second thought. One excruciating week after (5 days that i will never get back, btw), I felt depleted and honestly, quite disgusted at myself for even finishing. By sheer force of will, I did it! Yep, i skipped a lot of pages! The result of such self-inflicted aggravation: diminished mental capacity! Damn Rob and his pretty face!

I am a big fan of YA books- Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, His Dark Materials- all delightful and just wonderfully written books. But I’m sorry, this series? The writing and the non-stop goo just doesn’t do it for me.

3. TV- It’s Autumn! All the good shows are on! One particularly stands out as pure mindless fun- Little Britain: USA!! I think they are quite witty, though.

4. Takeshi Kaneshiro- No, I am not obsessed (i hear odang saying, “oh really?”), but I spend a lot of time watching his movies online. I think that the time I spend trying to comprehend bad english subtitles and just wrapping my mind around the ridiculous plot lines of his movies is a lot of mental expenditure on my part, hence the resulting idiocy. I am absolutely entertained, though.

5. A lot of other things are also rapidly, or slowly (depending on the time and day) making me stupid, but I just don’t have the mental acuity, much less the energy, to write about them at this point.

6. Spending my rare moments of extra brain activity writing stupid blogs like this.