ohmigosh.

it's been such a long time since my last post and i'm still drowning in my epic failures.

i'm taking a deeep breath and diving back in.

FAIL!!

Shyeet! I swear, sometimes, I feel like the stupidest person in the world. Not that I’m particularly bright, but geez… failing at simple arithmetic with the bill at the restaurant or failing to see 500 as divisible by 20- oh holy God! What a shame to my Sci-Hi roots. My husband is having the LOLZ at this very moment! Even my punctuation is all sorts of whack right now. I don’t think I can even spell anymore.

What the hell is wrong with me? I find that in some instances I cannot get the joke! WTF!! I used to be so quick at this! Did I lose my humor? Am I losing my mind? Or did i just evolve into something else? Something better? F*%$ this S#*T! I think I’m losing it. Or… maybe… I’m just really stupid. Period.

Now let’s explore the culprits, shall we…

1. Too much reading celebrity gossip sites- Ok, I admit, I’m really shallow and not as deep as I want myself to appear and I find such pleasure in nosing through the lives of these insipid celebretards (to borrow terminology from PH). Damn these annoying, but addictive sites. I swear, the bad puns and bad writing is making me stupid.

2. Twilight- I also admit, that after I found out (unexpectedly), thanks to my EW subscription, that Cedric Diggory, on the cover in July, will be in this movie based on the series, I got curious. I bought the whole series without a second thought. One excruciating week after (5 days that i will never get back, btw), I felt depleted and honestly, quite disgusted at myself for even finishing. By sheer force of will, I did it! Yep, i skipped a lot of pages! The result of such self-inflicted aggravation: diminished mental capacity! Damn Rob and his pretty face!

I am a big fan of YA books- Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, His Dark Materials- all delightful and just wonderfully written books. But I’m sorry, this series? The writing and the non-stop goo just doesn’t do it for me.

3. TV- It’s Autumn! All the good shows are on! One particularly stands out as pure mindless fun- Little Britain: USA!! I think they are quite witty, though.

4. Takeshi Kaneshiro- No, I am not obsessed (i hear odang saying, “oh really?”), but I spend a lot of time watching his movies online. I think that the time I spend trying to comprehend bad english subtitles and just wrapping my mind around the ridiculous plot lines of his movies is a lot of mental expenditure on my part, hence the resulting idiocy. I am absolutely entertained, though.

5. A lot of other things are also rapidly, or slowly (depending on the time and day) making me stupid, but I just don’t have the mental acuity, much less the energy, to write about them at this point.

6. Spending my rare moments of extra brain activity writing stupid blogs like this.

the Beautiful Ms Spektor and the Wicked Witch

With her crimson hair and a voice as haunting as it is whimsical, Regina Spektor captured my heart and has been officially inducted into Mai's Official Club of Beloved Artists. Welcome to my club Regina! Am i glad i checked her page out at that fortuitous moment, just in time to buy those tickets. Never mind that the concert was in Philly. It was worth it. And never mind that the usher shooed us backrow people trying to get to the front row- still, worth it. I love Regina!

Also watched Wicked on a whim. Reflex reaction to the realization that our babysitter/helper/WONDERFUL sister ismats will be leaving for home soon. Orchestra seats, baby! (ok, partial view seats, but who cares!!) And as usual, my sappy gene dominated as i trembled, teary eyed while mouthing the words to "Defying Gravity". Who knew a green- faced witch brandishing her broom could move me so much. I love Wicked!

2nd attempt

I would like to say that since the last time i wrote an entry here, i've gotten richer, solved world problems, learned a new profession- anything great (or anything really, that would justify my resounding absence in my self-inflicted 'blog therapy' or otherwise known as my search for creativity and artistic empowerment). I would like to write of accomplishments or conquests, instead my truth is far greater and broader in spectrum.

In those 8 short months, i have been totally immersed in the reality of life here. Working my ass off to not just survive here, but thrive. I was here, resting and healing my tired body. At the same time, i have read countless books with my daughter. I was there when my daughter learned to love the water. I was here singing along all of her John Lithgow books. I was there for first school days and play days and snow days and beach days. I saw my little baby, grow into a sweet, smart and wonderful little girl in those few months. I was here to support my husband and revel in his success...I was here working on our relationships and still am. I was making memories with my family. I've been pretty busy :)

I missed out on a lot of writing, but i feel like i didn't miss out on anything. I feel the need to document all of this, and maybe i will. Maybe i'll have like a retro blog. Maybe a time will come when i will have enough energy to do all this and at the end of the day still be able to sit in front of the computer and put everything in writing. Maybe. No rush for me. I'll take my sweet time and enjoy my family, enjoy our life, and blogging will just be everything else in between.

I credit Mr. A-Z for this burst of written thought.

blogging my way to mediocrity

so i begin my blog therapy from the blah surrounding me. i have finally mustered enough courage to start displaying my thoughts in public- with a formal blog that actually took a little bit of effort to make. oh god. all for the sake of creative reawakening and artistic stimulation.

i just have to overcome my laziness and actually start writing.

let the healing begin :)